In between the lines

In between the lines I'll listen to the wind and voices of a full house. In the midst of sounds I'll se smiles and sadness. So let me say that this year like all other years my family joins in celebrating the coming of the new year. together we practice the hardest of all arts: living together. this little community comes together and must try to survive the small spaces that we occupy.

So we embrace this challenge and off we go.

Day 0: which room sleeps which girl.

Day 1: what time breakfast end?

Day 2: where's my bed?

Day 3: enough with the jokes!

Day 4: no party for you!

Day 5: maybe we'll find out later.

And on we'll go. But I guess the whole point of this interaction is to say: you don't know me and you do. We'll battle wills and you'll say I didn't pay any attention and you'll say I left you with out answering. 

Like all families there is a unity to us. Something that ties us together. Is it blood?

There are roots. 

Things that can't be said.

And I don't miss you all the time.

I miss another.

I adore her.

I worship her.

And you hate me for that, You hate her.

So thats it.

good bye.

enough.

I'm done.

But i'm not who you want me to be. and I'm not sure I can keep my independence.

And not hurt you.

Its as if all my feelings and opinions will only hurt you.

They don't belong here in this house of 24 people.

Pre Something, something new...

I'll confess this somewhat of an outlet... After all who's going to read a another twenty somethings blog...

So I'll appreciate the fact! The internet and the world will thankfully ignore me... and I'll rage and post whatever I want and need.

After all my generation needs to affirm its self in this manner. There is no other explanation for my need to prove that in fact I exist! Hi its me! I'm real.

But don't expect the truth. I'm incapable of it even with myself.

The only thing I take for truthful is my horoscope and today my favorite horoscope says:

Aceitar o inaceitável é o fundamento de toda compaixão, que nada tem a ver com autocomiseração. A compaixão é o mais profundo dos sentimentos, aquele que faz sua alma comungar com a inteira criação universal.

Oops! I forgot to mention its in portuguese... no bother I'll translate!

Getting to the point: I'm suppose to have compassion. And accept the inevitable.

So, I guess, I suppose that means my feelings as well.

But lets not dwell on that either...

No point in raving on how I have issues just yet...